Owning each other’s madness.

I met a very kind couple today when I was visiting my vet. The couple had come in with a mamma rabbit & her one month old baby boy. Here are a few things I found endearing about them:

1. Both the rabbits were rescues. There were 4 more babies who perished, but this couple was able to save one of them.

2. The husband claimed not to be an animal person, and yet here he was, holding on to the little rabbit baby, accompanying his wife to the clinic, all because she was tensed. He was dressed to go to office, & decided to forego that, to prioritise the well-being of 2 little lives.

3. They found out today that the mamma rabbit was pregnant again, something that they weren’t prepared for. Yet, they are putting in their time, efforts & care to ensure she is taken care of.

4. Their biggest worry in this phase of demonetisation is how to find enough change to give to their vegetable vendor, to be able to buy the rabbits’ favourite vegetables, on a daily basis.

5. Just before they were about to leave the clinic, the baby rabbit peed on the husband. While the husband was looking for a cloth to clean his t-shirt, the wife’s first reaction was to clean the baby rabbit’s box. And the husband took it lightly as well.

Even though the husband kept saying he isn’t an animal person, he was the one cuddling with, & caring for the rabbits while his wife was busy taking medical advise. We also got to know that he is now the first one to tear up when something happens to any of the pets that his wife keeps bringing home, much to even his wife’s surprise.

It is difficult to find a decent partner. It is even more difficult to find someone who not only accepts your love for other beings, but gives in to embrace it as well. To all those people who have given in to their partner’s madness & knowingly or unknowingly, happen to own some bit of it now, you are truly wonderful! 😊

Here’s a pic of the baby rabbit, named Baby Boo, peeking out of his make shift carry box. Let him make your evening ❤️

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The Moment.

After 2 years of being together and a lot of pestering, she convinced him to cook for her. He planned the event a few days in advance, going over the recipes a few times and ensuring all the ingredients were available. She was, in fact surprised, that he didn’t make an excel sheet out of the whole thing.

He was fussy about how he wanted things to be in the kitchen, so she steered clear of the area when he initiated the process. After a few hours, he prepared the table for the feast and asked her to join him. There was rice, his mother’s recipe for a traditional curry, poppadum, fish-fry (for himself) & raw mango chutney. She quickly sat down, eager to fill her tummy.

After he served her, as she was taking the first morsel, he looked at her with a childlike curiosity, and posed his question – “So?”

“It’s very nice!”. He grinned widely and heaved a sigh of relief. She didn’t tell him that there could have been more salt in the curry or that the coconut needed to be more finely ground. Knowing the efforts he had put in, to prepare this for her, made it all the more tasty. They ate sumptuously, mostly in silence, because they were both so hungry that their mouths would open only to allow more food in.

Later in the evening, while both of them were still recovering from the food coma, and she was reading a book and he was watching Netflix, he tapped on her shoulder and said “Red chilly powder is almost over…we’ll need to replenish the bottle”, in a very matter of fact tone. She smiled at him and chuckled a little. He looked confused at the reaction. “What happened?”…she ruffled his hair and said “nothing”.

He went back to watching Netflix, still confused. She went back to reading her book, thinking, this was one of the first, cute domestic life moments they had shared, and this was just the beginning 🙂

 

 

 

Until we meet again..


Ginger RB (April 10 – May 9, 2016)

Until we meet again is a way to bid farewell, but still, it does not make the end of this chapter of my life any easier. What does that mean really? Does it really mean I’ll be able to see you again in some other form or in after life?

There’s not a second or a minute that goes by that I don’t miss you. My little heart hurts & breaks in your memory. I still have your smell on me. I can still hear your little yelps. I still feel like you’re around and that I need to check on you every few minutes, as per habit. I get up to do so & then I’m forced to remind myself that it’s been 4 days since you passed over to the rainbow bridge.

I’m looking for a sign that’ll tell me it wasn’t meant to be. That you are in a better place now. I hope you’ll send me one soon little one. If you can sense me, pls know that you are forever loved & that you filled my days with hope & joy. And I hope I was able to give you all that a mother could.

So here’s me saying & hoping – Until we meet again my love.

Song For You

Someone very close to my heart played this song for me on one of our drives together….said this song personifies me 🙂 I’ve loved this song very much since that day onwards…

So today I wrote a song for you
Cause a day can get so long
And I know it’s hard to make it through
When you say there’s something wrong

So I’m trying to put it right
Cause I want to love you with my heart
All this trying has made me tired
And I don’t know even where to start

Maybe that’s a start

For you know it’s a simple game
That you play filling up your head with rain
And you know you’ve been hiding from your pain
In the way, in the way you say your name

And I see you
Hiding your face in your hands
Flying so you won’t land
You think no one understands
No one understands

So you hunch your shoulders and you shake your head
And your throat is aching but you swear
No one hurts you, nothing could be sad
Anyway you’re not here enough to care

And you’re so tired you don’t sleep at night
As your heart is trying to mend
You keep it quiet but you think you might
Disappear before the end

And it’s strange how you cannot find
Any strength to even try
To find a voice to speak your mind
When you do, all you wanna do is cry

Well maybe you should cry

And I see you hiding your face in your hands
Talking ’bout far-away lands
You think no one understands
Listen to my hands

And all of this life
Moves around you
For all that you claim
You’re standing still
You are moving too
You are moving too
You are moving too
I will move with you

Destiny is not always a gift 

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During one of our MBA lectures, one of the professors asked us – how many of you believe in destiny/fate? I was one of those who replied in the negative. When asked why, I said “destiny/fate is what YOU make of yourself & the situation. These words are used either by people who believe their life is being constantly guided by a supernatural power or those who want to place the responsibility of their actions on these words.” This statement wasn’t too debatable at that time neither is it now, at least for me.

I believe in a higher power. But I also believe that even he helps those who help themselves. It’s always easy to take the cheat route & not own up to your actions. The real strength lies where you actually own every action of yours & consequently learn & respond to everything that the action brings. YOU are the only one who can make it or break it. YOU need to know, the world is judgmental. Should that stop you from doing what you know in your mind & heart to be right? Sometimes the hardest words to say are “I love you” & “I’m Sorry”. More often than not, actions speak louder than words. But then again, there are times when you need to say them. Because that is you truly taking responsibility for the words coming out of your mouth, however hard it may be for you to do so. Do not leave these as a task for the one above & give it a name of his play/decision for you. There is a place & time when you could say it was god’s decision…that I believe would be in situations where a human being lacks all potential to make a difference.

Before it is too late, own up to your shit. Tell them you love them. Tell them you’re sorry. Say the words. Get embarrassed a little. Get it off your chest. Coz one thing is true – time may be able heal your embarrassment. What it won’t be able to heal though, is the time you lost in hiding behind grand terms. Take the cue. Life is short.

Dedicated to those who left too soon before I could tell them one last time that I love them. Always, always in my heart.

The irony of compromise.

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It is the rule of life that we compromise to lead a somewhat happy/content one. At least, that is what we tell ourselves when we make the compromise. We give up on places, things, people we like. All, in the pursuit of happiness. But the real question is, what about the sadness that engulfs you when you give up stuff? Does the guilt leave your side ever?

Your conscience does warn you. So there’s no way we can say it didn’t do its best. We overlook it’s red signal simply because our desire & greed is bigger & more powerful. We claw our way through the screaming words, only to be screamed at by our inner self later.

Where do we draw the line? Where does this end? It doesn’t. There’ll always be something you give up. There’ll always be something you make someone give up for you. When do you realise you’re being too selfish? You know that tinge of resentment that rears its head when you are the one making the compromise? Would you feel it, even when you make someone compromise on something for your sake? Why shouldn’t the one-size-fits-all rule apply here? So many questions on this subject. But we aren’t ready or rather not comfortable answering most of them. Because the truth will destroy many a things. It will, most importantly, destroy you.

Coming to terms with something like this is difficult. We can however, learn how to cope with it because it’s something we cannot escape. How? List out your priorities in an order of importance. Divide them into major & minor. The latter are the ones you need to agree on being ready to adjust/compromise with. The major ones are what describe you. They are what call out to your soul. They are certainly not what you will be okay with, if you give up on them. These will haunt you, for eternity. What is the other important thing you need to do? Remember that others too, have a majors list like you. And that’s where you also need to be as understanding when you want them to make a compromise.

No one but you, will live & breathe the changes during & after. If you do end up having a companion in the same boat, it’s not as if the journey won’t be difficult, but as they say, misery loves a companion ☺

Nevertheless, the joys that the minor list of compromises may have brought/will bring to you, are to be celebrated too. Coz they too are a victory of you losing something to gain something else.

Compromises can break you, as well as bring you joy. That in itself, is an irony.

The waft

“Tell me more about you” he said.

“Like what?” she asked, adjusting the sheet around her body.

“Like…are you the kind of woman who….” his voice trails off as he sees her reaching for a cigarette, kept on the night stand next to her bed.

“The kind of woman who…what?”

“The kind who smokes after sex?” he finishes.

“I’m the kind who smokes whenever. And the kind who’ll be whatever you want me to be, as long as you’re not a nutcase!” she smiles while taking a drag.

His eyes rest on her face for a minute, taking into account every little detail of that irresistible face and deadly smile.

“In that case how about you give me half of that death wish you’re puffing away?” he asks.

She never touched a cigarette after that day.

Furry Tales

I had always considered myself to be a “dog” person. For me being an animal lover meant that you have to be in love with dogs!

As a kid, whenever I used to demand for a pet, my parents use to say “first grow up and learn to handle your responsibilities on your own”. Needless to say, my parents didn’t keep their promise. And I was ‘that’ person in the group who would squeal every time a furry being was seen around. Finally, when i started living alone, one of my friends convinced me to foster a kitten. That’s when my journey as a failed foster parent began. Not because I wasn’t caring enough, but because I would end up keeping not one, but 3 of the kittens I had brought in to just foster. I am proud to say, I am mother to the most beautiful and loving felines ever. They taught me that being an animal lover means loving animals of all sorts.

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Having established that, Let me assure you it wasn’t as smooth a journey to begin with. People always tell you about the licks and the cuddles when they talk about adopting pets. No one tells you about a hundred other things you need to be prepared for, when you adopt a furry baby.

Here are a few do’s and don’ts from my amateur experience:

1. Ensure that you read up well on the feline family.This will help you be mentally prepared and also keep in stock, the required things when you bring the kitten home.

2. Unlike dogs, cats do NOT need to go outside. Cats are almost always naturally housebroken and can be litter trained at an early age. If left unattended to go outside, cats might get lost or hurt and sometimes get killed. I had to learn this the hard way when I lost my first cat to a freak accident.

3. Cats need to be fed good, nutritious food regularly, at least once to twice a day. They also need plenty of cool and fresh water. What they do not need is milk. Unlike the popular myth that cats survive on milk, adult cats can get diarrhea, skin rash and liver problems due to milk intake. Pls consult your vet before giving your kitten any milk as well.

4. Have your cat spayed or neutered by a vet once it reaches maturity (usually around six months of age). Otherwise you may have to face issues like them peeing outside of the litter box to mark their territory, mewing all night and signs of aggressive behaviour on their part. Neutering will ensure that your cat enjoys a longer, healthier life & there’ll be fewer strays on the streets.

5. Though cats are known to be more independent than dogs, they thrive on your company and love. A responsible pet parent should spend at least one hour every day giving ample attention to their cat. This may include training, grooming, and playing or even just some lap time on the couch.

6. Cats do NOT need to be bathed. A healthy cat keeps the self clean and well-groomed. However, for people like me who are particular about hygiene, I would suggest using a shedding comb on your cat every once in a while to tae care of all that fur which is likely to be present everywhere in the house if the cat isn’t groomed well. And instead of bathing the cats, use a wet wipe on them gently to clean their body. Be careful while you do so, else you may end up getting scratched by them if they’re not in the right mood.

7. To prevent your cat from scratching or tearing your furniture, trim it’s claws regularly (if you can) and provide them with a small rug or scratching post. Verbal scolding at an early age can help prevent such behaviours. It did, on at least one of my cats. You could try vinegar or vicks as the hacks to keep them away from destroying any furniture.

8. It’s in the cat’s nature to sleep 16-18 hours a day. That being said, it’s always better to make them play and run with the use of toys, laser light etc. around the house so that they are active and don’t put on too much weight. Who doesn’t love a chubby furry? But we would love for them to live longer with us. Hence, it’s better to keep them agile.

9. Pets come with their own set of expenses. Getting one home might mean having to re-calculate and amend your monthly expenses. Here are a few mandatory items  you will need to spend on, for your cat:

  • Food & special treats
  • Routine veterinary care
  • Kitty litter and box
  • Basic grooming equipment and supplies

10. Last, but not the least – If you’re adopting a cat, it’s always better to adopt them in a pair. A single kitten will get lonely when you’re not around if you’re working and may resort to aggressive behaviour or be depressed.

Everything said and done, there is no better reward than coming home to be greeted with paws, whiskers,licks and purrs! You don’t get to choose your family, it just comes to you. And my feline family brings me immense joy!

Proud to say, I adopted a stray 🙂

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You & Me

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Let’s lie down and stare at the blank sky
and wait for it to be filled,
with a constellation of stars.

That moment will be ours alone. Because we saw it happen. Together.

Let’s go back in time
and recreate, step by step,
that night under the moon

When I saw the dimple in your cheek. And you saw the smile in my eyes. And we were in love..with each other.

We’ve lived in denial
we’ve tried life sans the other
Who are we fooling?

Completion personified, we are all that there is, to know about love.

I’ve heard and read about many great loves
and have been in their drunken stupor,
waiting to become one of those stories.

But you and me, my love, laugh and cry, and make the most of what we get with, and in each other.

What better story, and what greater love can exist beyond us?

Aside

Timid desire

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I would like to be a bird,

perched on the birch-tree

and see from above, coming to life

the scene when we first met.

Would you have connected with me again,

had I not been the first to approach you then?

I would like to be witness,

to the thoughts that ran through your mind

when we couldn’t tear our attention

away from each other.

Was I the last person

you thought of before you went to sleep?

I would like to be the feeling

of unconditional surrender

that takes over my heart when I’m with you.

Will I, as this feeling, last? Will we last?

John Keats summarizes what I feel at this moment, quite aptly: “I am in that temper that if I were under water I would scarcely kick to come to the top.”

Do we spend days, months, years…to put the pieces together? Or do we just leave the pieces on the floor…look at them like a work of art unfinished, because sometimes the most incomplete of arts is the most breath-takingly beautiful one, and move on?

Are we meant to be a part of each other’s history, or be each other’s destiny?

Will we get up one day, to stop loving each other little by little?

Or will we get up paralysed, from all the inland circus in our minds?

Can I time-travel, and see what’s in store for us…

Or be a coward and lay in wait.

My little heart stands witness, to all my un-mouthed desires and hidden fears.

And it’s bursting this minute.

Will you hold and contain it for me?