Owning each other’s madness.

I met a very kind couple today when I was visiting my vet. The couple had come in with a mamma rabbit & her one month old baby boy. Here are a few things I found endearing about them:

1. Both the rabbits were rescues. There were 4 more babies who perished, but this couple was able to save one of them.

2. The husband claimed not to be an animal person, and yet here he was, holding on to the little rabbit baby, accompanying his wife to the clinic, all because she was tensed. He was dressed to go to office, & decided to forego that, to prioritise the well-being of 2 little lives.

3. They found out today that the mamma rabbit was pregnant again, something that they weren’t prepared for. Yet, they are putting in their time, efforts & care to ensure she is taken care of.

4. Their biggest worry in this phase of demonetisation is how to find enough change to give to their vegetable vendor, to be able to buy the rabbits’ favourite vegetables, on a daily basis.

5. Just before they were about to leave the clinic, the baby rabbit peed on the husband. While the husband was looking for a cloth to clean his t-shirt, the wife’s first reaction was to clean the baby rabbit’s box. And the husband took it lightly as well.

Even though the husband kept saying he isn’t an animal person, he was the one cuddling with, & caring for the rabbits while his wife was busy taking medical advise. We also got to know that he is now the first one to tear up when something happens to any of the pets that his wife keeps bringing home, much to even his wife’s surprise.

It is difficult to find a decent partner. It is even more difficult to find someone who not only accepts your love for other beings, but gives in to embrace it as well. To all those people who have given in to their partner’s madness & knowingly or unknowingly, happen to own some bit of it now, you are truly wonderful! 😊

Here’s a pic of the baby rabbit, named Baby Boo, peeking out of his make shift carry box. Let him make your evening ❤️

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Destiny is not always a gift 

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During one of our MBA lectures, one of the professors asked us – how many of you believe in destiny/fate? I was one of those who replied in the negative. When asked why, I said “destiny/fate is what YOU make of yourself & the situation. These words are used either by people who believe their life is being constantly guided by a supernatural power or those who want to place the responsibility of their actions on these words.” This statement wasn’t too debatable at that time neither is it now, at least for me.

I believe in a higher power. But I also believe that even he helps those who help themselves. It’s always easy to take the cheat route & not own up to your actions. The real strength lies where you actually own every action of yours & consequently learn & respond to everything that the action brings. YOU are the only one who can make it or break it. YOU need to know, the world is judgmental. Should that stop you from doing what you know in your mind & heart to be right? Sometimes the hardest words to say are “I love you” & “I’m Sorry”. More often than not, actions speak louder than words. But then again, there are times when you need to say them. Because that is you truly taking responsibility for the words coming out of your mouth, however hard it may be for you to do so. Do not leave these as a task for the one above & give it a name of his play/decision for you. There is a place & time when you could say it was god’s decision…that I believe would be in situations where a human being lacks all potential to make a difference.

Before it is too late, own up to your shit. Tell them you love them. Tell them you’re sorry. Say the words. Get embarrassed a little. Get it off your chest. Coz one thing is true – time may be able heal your embarrassment. What it won’t be able to heal though, is the time you lost in hiding behind grand terms. Take the cue. Life is short.

Dedicated to those who left too soon before I could tell them one last time that I love them. Always, always in my heart.

The irony of compromise.

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It is the rule of life that we compromise to lead a somewhat happy/content one. At least, that is what we tell ourselves when we make the compromise. We give up on places, things, people we like. All, in the pursuit of happiness. But the real question is, what about the sadness that engulfs you when you give up stuff? Does the guilt leave your side ever?

Your conscience does warn you. So there’s no way we can say it didn’t do its best. We overlook it’s red signal simply because our desire & greed is bigger & more powerful. We claw our way through the screaming words, only to be screamed at by our inner self later.

Where do we draw the line? Where does this end? It doesn’t. There’ll always be something you give up. There’ll always be something you make someone give up for you. When do you realise you’re being too selfish? You know that tinge of resentment that rears its head when you are the one making the compromise? Would you feel it, even when you make someone compromise on something for your sake? Why shouldn’t the one-size-fits-all rule apply here? So many questions on this subject. But we aren’t ready or rather not comfortable answering most of them. Because the truth will destroy many a things. It will, most importantly, destroy you.

Coming to terms with something like this is difficult. We can however, learn how to cope with it because it’s something we cannot escape. How? List out your priorities in an order of importance. Divide them into major & minor. The latter are the ones you need to agree on being ready to adjust/compromise with. The major ones are what describe you. They are what call out to your soul. They are certainly not what you will be okay with, if you give up on them. These will haunt you, for eternity. What is the other important thing you need to do? Remember that others too, have a majors list like you. And that’s where you also need to be as understanding when you want them to make a compromise.

No one but you, will live & breathe the changes during & after. If you do end up having a companion in the same boat, it’s not as if the journey won’t be difficult, but as they say, misery loves a companion ☺

Nevertheless, the joys that the minor list of compromises may have brought/will bring to you, are to be celebrated too. Coz they too are a victory of you losing something to gain something else.

Compromises can break you, as well as bring you joy. That in itself, is an irony.

Furry Tales

I had always considered myself to be a “dog” person. For me being an animal lover meant that you have to be in love with dogs!

As a kid, whenever I used to demand for a pet, my parents use to say “first grow up and learn to handle your responsibilities on your own”. Needless to say, my parents didn’t keep their promise. And I was ‘that’ person in the group who would squeal every time a furry being was seen around. Finally, when i started living alone, one of my friends convinced me to foster a kitten. That’s when my journey as a failed foster parent began. Not because I wasn’t caring enough, but because I would end up keeping not one, but 3 of the kittens I had brought in to just foster. I am proud to say, I am mother to the most beautiful and loving felines ever. They taught me that being an animal lover means loving animals of all sorts.

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Having established that, Let me assure you it wasn’t as smooth a journey to begin with. People always tell you about the licks and the cuddles when they talk about adopting pets. No one tells you about a hundred other things you need to be prepared for, when you adopt a furry baby.

Here are a few do’s and don’ts from my amateur experience:

1. Ensure that you read up well on the feline family.This will help you be mentally prepared and also keep in stock, the required things when you bring the kitten home.

2. Unlike dogs, cats do NOT need to go outside. Cats are almost always naturally housebroken and can be litter trained at an early age. If left unattended to go outside, cats might get lost or hurt and sometimes get killed. I had to learn this the hard way when I lost my first cat to a freak accident.

3. Cats need to be fed good, nutritious food regularly, at least once to twice a day. They also need plenty of cool and fresh water. What they do not need is milk. Unlike the popular myth that cats survive on milk, adult cats can get diarrhea, skin rash and liver problems due to milk intake. Pls consult your vet before giving your kitten any milk as well.

4. Have your cat spayed or neutered by a vet once it reaches maturity (usually around six months of age). Otherwise you may have to face issues like them peeing outside of the litter box to mark their territory, mewing all night and signs of aggressive behaviour on their part. Neutering will ensure that your cat enjoys a longer, healthier life & there’ll be fewer strays on the streets.

5. Though cats are known to be more independent than dogs, they thrive on your company and love. A responsible pet parent should spend at least one hour every day giving ample attention to their cat. This may include training, grooming, and playing or even just some lap time on the couch.

6. Cats do NOT need to be bathed. A healthy cat keeps the self clean and well-groomed. However, for people like me who are particular about hygiene, I would suggest using a shedding comb on your cat every once in a while to tae care of all that fur which is likely to be present everywhere in the house if the cat isn’t groomed well. And instead of bathing the cats, use a wet wipe on them gently to clean their body. Be careful while you do so, else you may end up getting scratched by them if they’re not in the right mood.

7. To prevent your cat from scratching or tearing your furniture, trim it’s claws regularly (if you can) and provide them with a small rug or scratching post. Verbal scolding at an early age can help prevent such behaviours. It did, on at least one of my cats. You could try vinegar or vicks as the hacks to keep them away from destroying any furniture.

8. It’s in the cat’s nature to sleep 16-18 hours a day. That being said, it’s always better to make them play and run with the use of toys, laser light etc. around the house so that they are active and don’t put on too much weight. Who doesn’t love a chubby furry? But we would love for them to live longer with us. Hence, it’s better to keep them agile.

9. Pets come with their own set of expenses. Getting one home might mean having to re-calculate and amend your monthly expenses. Here are a few mandatory items  you will need to spend on, for your cat:

  • Food & special treats
  • Routine veterinary care
  • Kitty litter and box
  • Basic grooming equipment and supplies

10. Last, but not the least – If you’re adopting a cat, it’s always better to adopt them in a pair. A single kitten will get lonely when you’re not around if you’re working and may resort to aggressive behaviour or be depressed.

Everything said and done, there is no better reward than coming home to be greeted with paws, whiskers,licks and purrs! You don’t get to choose your family, it just comes to you. And my feline family brings me immense joy!

Proud to say, I adopted a stray 🙂

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Don’t forget to live. I’ll always hold your hand.

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What kind of a legacy do I want to leave for my kids? Money, property, shares & other materialistic things? Or some old rules from a stiff book on how to live your life to be successful in this world?

I don’t know if my dear kids will be able to grasp the ocean of things I want to fill their minds and hearts with…but I will try my best not to overwhelm them. In a world that is sordid, treacherous & naked ambition of all sorts floating around, there is also a little good hanging around.

I want them to hug that goodness that’s around them. Little things that bring us joy, I would like them to enjoy those moments to the fullest. I want them to understand the responsibility of having to fend for themselves yet not compromise on their calling when they find it.

I want them to know that they can run to me for any sort of trouble they are in. I will give them a listening ear…but they’ll have to know that they will need to set right what they wronged in the first place. I want them to understand that in our family, we are used to making mistakes, saying sorry, learning, moving on while not forgetting to forgive.

I understand that there might be times they will hate me. It’ll only mean I’m doing my job well. I do however hope, there never be a time when the hate lasts more than a few days.

I hope when they look at me & their dad, they realise we are not just partners. We are friends, lovers, confidantes & normal mortal beings who are capable of making mistakes, just like them. We will try to be role models for them, and at certain times, if we find ourselves failing, we hope our kids will give us the time to regain the balance and set the dynamics right again.

I write this now, because I might be blinded by extreme love when I hold my baby in my arms for the first time. I hope this post will serve as a constant reminder of all the things I want to say to them.

I want them to know, come what may – I will never leave their hand. That’s the legacy I want them to carry & remember.