The Moment.

After 2 years of being together and a lot of pestering, she convinced him to cook for her. He planned the event a few days in advance, going over the recipes a few times and ensuring all the ingredients were available. She was, in fact surprised, that he didn’t make an excel sheet out of the whole thing.

He was fussy about how he wanted things to be in the kitchen, so she steered clear of the area when he initiated the process. After a few hours, he prepared the table for the feast and asked her to join him. There was rice, his mother’s recipe for a traditional curry, poppadum, fish-fry (for himself) & raw mango chutney. She quickly sat down, eager to fill her tummy.

After he served her, as she was taking the first morsel, he looked at her with a childlike curiosity, and posed his question – “So?”

“It’s very nice!”. He grinned widely and heaved a sigh of relief. She didn’t tell him that there could have been more salt in the curry or that the coconut needed to be more finely ground. Knowing the efforts he had put in, to prepare this for her, made it all the more tasty. They ate sumptuously, mostly in silence, because they were both so hungry that their mouths would open only to allow more food in.

Later in the evening, while both of them were still recovering from the food coma, and she was reading a book and he was watching Netflix, he tapped on her shoulder and said “Red chilly powder is almost over…we’ll need to replenish the bottle”, in a very matter of fact tone. She smiled at him and chuckled a little. He looked confused at the reaction. “What happened?”…she ruffled his hair and said “nothing”.

He went back to watching Netflix, still confused. She went back to reading her book, thinking, this was one of the first, cute domestic life moments they had shared, and this was just the beginning 🙂

 

 

 

The irony of compromise.

relationship-compromise-tip

It is the rule of life that we compromise to lead a somewhat happy/content one. At least, that is what we tell ourselves when we make the compromise. We give up on places, things, people we like. All, in the pursuit of happiness. But the real question is, what about the sadness that engulfs you when you give up stuff? Does the guilt leave your side ever?

Your conscience does warn you. So there’s no way we can say it didn’t do its best. We overlook it’s red signal simply because our desire & greed is bigger & more powerful. We claw our way through the screaming words, only to be screamed at by our inner self later.

Where do we draw the line? Where does this end? It doesn’t. There’ll always be something you give up. There’ll always be something you make someone give up for you. When do you realise you’re being too selfish? You know that tinge of resentment that rears its head when you are the one making the compromise? Would you feel it, even when you make someone compromise on something for your sake? Why shouldn’t the one-size-fits-all rule apply here? So many questions on this subject. But we aren’t ready or rather not comfortable answering most of them. Because the truth will destroy many a things. It will, most importantly, destroy you.

Coming to terms with something like this is difficult. We can however, learn how to cope with it because it’s something we cannot escape. How? List out your priorities in an order of importance. Divide them into major & minor. The latter are the ones you need to agree on being ready to adjust/compromise with. The major ones are what describe you. They are what call out to your soul. They are certainly not what you will be okay with, if you give up on them. These will haunt you, for eternity. What is the other important thing you need to do? Remember that others too, have a majors list like you. And that’s where you also need to be as understanding when you want them to make a compromise.

No one but you, will live & breathe the changes during & after. If you do end up having a companion in the same boat, it’s not as if the journey won’t be difficult, but as they say, misery loves a companion ☺

Nevertheless, the joys that the minor list of compromises may have brought/will bring to you, are to be celebrated too. Coz they too are a victory of you losing something to gain something else.

Compromises can break you, as well as bring you joy. That in itself, is an irony.