Aside

Timid desire

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I would like to be a bird,

perched on the birch-tree

and see from above, coming to life

the scene when we first met.

Would you have connected with me again,

had I not been the first to approach you then?

I would like to be witness,

to the thoughts that ran through your mind

when we couldn’t tear our attention

away from each other.

Was I the last person

you thought of before you went to sleep?

I would like to be the feeling

of unconditional surrender

that takes over my heart when I’m with you.

Will I, as this feeling, last? Will we last?

John Keats summarizes what I feel at this moment, quite aptly: “I am in that temper that if I were under water I would scarcely kick to come to the top.”

Do we spend days, months, years…to put the pieces together? Or do we just leave the pieces on the floor…look at them like a work of art unfinished, because sometimes the most incomplete of arts is the most breath-takingly beautiful one, and move on?

Are we meant to be a part of each other’s history, or be each other’s destiny?

Will we get up one day, to stop loving each other little by little?

Or will we get up paralysed, from all the inland circus in our minds?

Can I time-travel, and see what’s in store for us…

Or be a coward and lay in wait.

My little heart stands witness, to all my un-mouthed desires and hidden fears.

And it’s bursting this minute.

Will you hold and contain it for me?